“Shweta, I want to feel that I have arrived. That I have achieved everything I want to and to feel that I’m done”.
In a session with a client of mine recently, I was presented with this statement. My answer to this is that we will never truly feel done until we are no longer here. There was a silence when I told him this but, to get to the crux of the matter, I asked my client, Brian, what was driving this all of a sudden. And by the way, Brian is a successful business owner, 73-years-old.
He told me it was his fear that was driving him to feel this way.
After hearing this, I wanted to share a story, that was once shared with me by a mentor and that I will share with you here too.
Firstly, I want you to think about how fear is serving you. Similar to Brian, we all have encountered it and some live with it every day. The question is, how is that serving you?
The ring of power
There was a man who had to go from his place of work to his home, through a dark pathway, every evening. He was very fearful, very scared of all kinds of things, his mind used to play tricks on him. He was suffering, literally living in that fear and the journey became painful for him. One day, in his agony, he went to see a wise man and he told him, “I’m suffering, this journey is very difficult for me, I don’t know what to do, there’s no other alternative. I have to undertake this journey, for my family, for our livelihood, please help me”.
The person looked at him, smiled and said, “Okay, take this ring, wear it, it has got certain powers. You will be very comfortable, nothing will bother you and you’ll be safe”. The man had huge belief in the wise man, so he accepted the ring with gratitude, he slipped it on and went on with his journey. To his surprise, he felt very safe and protected. He had a feeling as if there was a shield around him and he was going to be absolutely fine. He was very happy.
As days passed, he grew more comfortable with his journey but he became paranoid about his ring. The fear he once had for his journey was gone but he was now frightened that he might lose his ring and wanted to be sure that this ring was safe at all times, in case he suddenly lost its power.
What happened to the fear?
It is important to reflect on this and understand what actually happens when fear is the biggest driving force in your life.
In the story, the persons fear got replaced by another.
In business, when we make a great hire, we may worry about eventually losing them, if they decide to move on, and what consequences that might have for our business. Sometimes your marketing strategies may be working so well that you worry about it coming to an end and things taking a downturn. When you live with fear, you will find yourself replacing it with one after the other.
What I want you to consider is, as the leader of your business, how do these fears serve you and your business? How do they benefit you?
I’ve seen it time and time again, in extremely successful business owners, with fantastic teams around them. Even though they are learning so much on a daily basis, they are becoming better individuals and their businesses grow year on year, they constantly worry about the worst happening.
The point is that you should enjoy this journey because it’s never going to be finished. It’s never going to be done, you will never arrive as such because it’s a journey. Life is a journey. It’s a celebration. You experience many things but nothing good or bad, it’s about the meaning behind it.
My request is, if you are living with a certain fear, don’t fight it back because it’s part of who you are but take time to slow down. Just sit down and observe the fear. Look into its eyes and find where it’s coming from. If you think about it, fear is a movement of thought. It’s in the future. If you were to watch it closely, to just observe, with no emotion, I can assure you that it has its own way of dissipating, diffusing, just going away.
I wanted to share this with you because I have so many interactions with different people and see that fear is driving them in a certain direction and ultimately, it’s not worth it. Next time you’re fearful, remember it’s okay. Acknowledge it, slow down and just observe it. You will see that it quickly dissipates and you can get back to enjoying your life and your business once again.
If you have recognised any of the above in yourself, or others in your business, and would like to discuss how to move past it, feel free to get in touch, I’d love to help. Alternatively, if you have any other burning issue that you would like help with, feel free to request a quick call back and we will be in touch very soon.